oh well

i always liked you best when your eyes were closed
which was, in retrospect, an obvious warning sign

I heart Aquatic Ape Theory!

Just give me one thing that I can hold on to

it's 4 am and i can't sleep
my right hand signs beautiful behind my back when i think of you

Things that make me cry in my cubicle. Part VIII.

I'm a total softy for dancing and weddings.

Happy 4th Anniversary!

I've had this bloggity blog for 4 years. Four years! In that time I have bought and sold 4 cars with reckless abandon, procrastinated, moved twice, written a lot of drunken poetry-prose, changed jobs twice, started my third graduate program, slept with 5 people I really shouldn't have, avoided 2 nervous breakdowns, thought I met the perfect guy 3 times, been to Flipside 3 times, built a labyrinth in the mountains, dated a narcissistic asshole, danced A LOT!, turned 30, become oodles more sane, made an unfortunate amount of puns, tried to learn to love the ebb just like the flow, had quite a bit to drink, dreamt about the ocean, quit smoking 3 times, thought a lot about icebergs as metaphors, marked the passage of time by the smell of flowers, become a little obsessed with crystals, met a slew of amazingly magical and lovely people, gotten a tattoo, voted for Obama!, become increasingly fond of exclamation points, had at least 35 magical weekends, been unceasingly stressed for 10 months (and counting), clarified the relationship between consciousness and matter, possibly remembered a past life, and said good-bye to one of the best cats in the entire world.

In short, its been a lot.

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

~e.e. cummings

Things are quieting down on the ecstatic union with God front, but these are still lovely lovely lovely.

God and I have become
like two giant fat people
living in a tiny boat.
We keep bumping into each other
and laughing.

*** *** *** *** ***

All these words are just a front.
What I would really like to do is
chain you to my body,
then sing for days
about God.

*** *** *** *** ***

Now is the time to know
that all you do is sacred.

Now, why not consider
a lasting truce with yourself and God.

Now is the time to understand
that all your ideas of right and wrong
were just a child's training wheels
to be laid aside
when you can finally live
with veracity
and love.

Hafiz is a divine envoy
whom the Beloved
has written a holy message upon.

My dear, please tell me,
why do you still
throw sticks at your heart
and God?

What is it in that sweet voice inside
that incites you to fear?

Now is the time for the world to know
that every thought and action is sacred.

This is the time
for you to deeply compute the impossibility
that there is anything
but Grace.

Now is the season to know
that everything you do
is sacred.

*** *** *** *** ***

How did the rose
ever open its heart
and give to this world
all its beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
against its being,

otherwise,
we all remain too frightened.

*** *** *** *** ***

Everyone is God speaking.
Why not be polite and listen to him?

*** *** *** *** ***

God
disguised as myriad things
and playing a game of tag
has kissed you and said,
"You're it -
I mean, you're Really IT!"

Now it does not matter
what you believe or feel
for something wonderful,
mind-blowingly wonderful
is someday going
to happen

~Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky)