I hate my uterus

Wow. I just tried to convince an ex to date me again. Three times. On the phone. Once while at a bus stop, holding back tears and blowing my nose on my shirt. Shortly thereafter, I bought champagne, ice cream, and cigarettes at the convenience store. I drank the champagne out of a measuring cup.

I am 100% premenstrual. Oh, cruel sisters estrogen and progesterone, why must you brawl so?