I hate my uterus. Part IX.

Whiskey and cigarettes. For when you can't stop crying on the laundry room floor.

Fuck, I'm turning into my dad.

I hate my uterus. Part VIII.

Watching The Full Monty and crying. Fuck you, PMS.

I hate my uterus. Part VII.

Things I've yelled at tonight: a plastic bag, some water droplets, the picture on my desktop.

I might have PMS.

I hate my uterus. Part VI.

Aw, it's been a while since I wrote one of these crazy PMS entries. I sort-of miss them.

So today at the grocery store I ran into this woman I used to work with a few years ago who is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. We bump into each other now and again and exchange the normal pleasantries. We don't know each other all that well, but that didn't keep me from telling her, in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store:

1. How meaningless I find my job 90% of the time and how it makes me feel like I am dying on the inside.
2. How I have been sleeping around since my last relationship with a narcissistic asshole ended.
3. How I have an escape plan of quitting everything, moving back in with my parents and becoming a dance teacher.

She listened to everything with a smile. I then wandered around the grocery store on the verge of tears, aimlessly, until I realized this was just PMS.

So now I have cake and ice cream, vodka and cranberry juice, and half a pack of cigarettes. I will be ingesting these until I fall asleep or start menstruating. Yay, unhealthy coping skills! TV will also probably be involved.

Peace out, yo.

Effects of The Pill

* Combined oral contraceptives raise the levels of blood fats, cholesterol, and tryglicerides
* It has been shown that one in every 200 women coming off the pill will have no periods for the rest of their lives and it can take up to two years for the body to return to normal.
* The youngest women have longer exposures to pills, and breast cancer will affect 1 in 4 pill takers.
* The pill raises copper to abnormal levels in the blood, depletes zinc, magnesium, B-vitamins, essential fats and amino acids, which cause depressive symptoms.
* Early cervical cancer in pill takers is epidemic. Only a few years on the pill causes cervical cancer risk to increase 5 - 6 fold
* Studies show that pill takers are more likely to suffer from depression and commit suicide
* Prescribed hormones cause serious vascular illness sooner than smoking, (4 years in pill takers, whilst 25 years in smokers)
* The pill lowers the protective fats in the blood, while elevating the artery clogging fats
* Pill hormones cause cancer of target organs: breast, cervix, endometrium, and ovaries. The cancer occurs from weeks, up to 40 years, after exposure
* A few years on the pill increases melanomas (skin tumors) 2 - 3 fold.
* The risk of rare liver tumor increases with hormone exposure. The risk of benign tumor increases 100-500 times after five years of pill use. Cancerous liver tumors increase 4-5 fold, after eight years of pill use.
* Contraceptive hormones upset immunity causing an increased risk of STDs, infections, cancers, lupus, ME and MS.
* Ex pill takers have more risk of infertility and re-occurent miscarriages
* Magnesium deficiency from pill use causes excess parathormone secretion, which increases bone loss and osteoprosis
* Fibroid growths are stimulated by synthetic oestrogens. Ovarian cysts and ovarian cancers are more common in ex pill takers
* Prescribed hormones contribute to food and skin allergies and cause gut candidia. Many girls on the pill get thrush and or skin allergies.
* Prescribed sex hormones raise levels of stress hormones
* The risk of diabetes occurs with longer exposure. Hypoglycemic symptoms in pill takers is common and are early warning signs of diabetes to come.
* Pill hormones change blood vessels, dilate and thicken arteries and veins in the womb, legs, eyes, brain and throughout the body, ausing migraine, palputations, high blood pressure, clots strokes and heart attacks
* Risk of pill induced vascular death (strokes and heart attacks) is 10 times higher for women over age 35 taking the pill
* Some of the symptoms that women notice are:
Weight gain
Increase or decrease in acne
Nausea and vomiting
Dizziness
Headaches
*DEPRESSION*
Anxiety and nervousness
High blood pressure
Loss of libido
*Please see the study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that with long term use loss of libido may be permanent http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/01/060104232338.htm

There are other birth control options out there! Two you may not know about are Ladycomp and Centchroman.

Perhaps my whole blog could be distilled down to pictures from Post Secret and A Softer World

I hate my uterus. Part V.

Wow. So premenstrual that just thinking about being premenstrual made me cry. Twice.

I hate my uterus. Part IV.

This really should be a post about how much I hate my uterus but it was all bare neuron screaming in the daylight, so I think it is best to just let it go.

I hate my uterus. Part III

Crying on a trampoline. Twice. Need I say more?

I am going to stay in bed all day and write bad poetry.

I never rest, cheekbones tight
a thousand forgettings

my waist a river stone
dreaming of return
recalling the purr under the surface
patiently caressed over ever and over
ceaselessly, in the water soaked light

remembering

yeah, that was ugly

I hate my uterus. Part II

So I am on the phone with Chris, holding back tears in my office because, oh I don't know, a student who didn't speak English very well made me sad, I saw a bird with a limp, someone asked me for change on the street, I don't know what I want to do with my life, what's the point of all this anyway, etc., etc. And something starts to seem vaguely familiar. And it's not just that Chris is the person I always call when I am on the verge of tears. The poor bastard. And then I realize - this same thing happened exactly four weeks ago.

Holy fuck. I am a prisoner of my own reproductive system. And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Except bust out the champagne, measuring cup, and cigarettes.

Chris, thank you for being the bestest best friend a girl could ever wish for. I wish I was one of your internal organs, so we could always take naps together.

I hate my uterus

Wow. I just tried to convince an ex to date me again. Three times. On the phone. Once while at a bus stop, holding back tears and blowing my nose on my shirt. Shortly thereafter, I bought champagne, ice cream, and cigarettes at the convenience store. I drank the champagne out of a measuring cup.

I am 100% premenstrual. Oh, cruel sisters estrogen and progesterone, why must you brawl so?