Granted, many of my actions of late fit into the "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" cliché, but still...
Holy crap! I have been dating a cliché! A real-life, walking and talking cliché - the "Troubled Actor/Director." You know the one. The one who doesn't have a job because he can't handle the reality of the working world. The one who answers all of life's questions with experiences from theatre, quotes from Shakespeare, and thoughts on art. The one who judges people all the time, because he is clearly better than everyone else. The one who woos women with flowery words and songs, winning them over with displays of his art. The one who lets his girlfriend shower him with gifts, musical instruments, a new wardrobe, and food (because, let's face it, he can't feed himself). The one who acts and directs for the sake of ART, not for something as common as the desire for attention. You can't betray the muse, after all. The one who finally gets to direct the play he wants and instantly loses all control of his life (which makes sense, given how much time he spends at his day job..oh, wait, I forgot - he doesn't have a day job). The one who tries to break up with his girlfriend on opening night. The one who sleeps with "his" 21-year old actress at the first opportunity, i.e., the night after the break-up is final (that is, if he hadn't done so already). All the while talking about how much pain he is in. And of course, he doesn't thrive on drama and chaos like some other actors do. Oh no. He's different from them. Special.
How could I not have realized this before? I guess I am just as big of an idiot as he is (well, more like 1/8th of the idiot he is, let's be honest). He really does play the part well. The subtle denial of his similarity to other actors and directors is key. Quietly playing up the sensitive, intellectual, introvert angle works well too. And of course I have a huge soft spot for flowery words.
The more he tries to fight the cliché, the more he becomes it.
I can't believe I spent the last 2+ weeks trying to salvage this relationship. I can't believe I let myself get so caught up in this ridiculous situation that I acted like a crazy ex-girlfriend for several hours yesterday. I can't believe I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in one day. Ugh.
Happily, I am now somewhat chipper that this all went down before my thirtieth birthday. I can close the chapter on my twenties, those fun-filled years that almost killed me. They did manage to get one last jab in, though, the bastards.
Ah, well. Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty, I am free at last.