jealousy

Just had an overwhelming surge of jealousy about Chris. It is really quite fascinating how powerful and irrational an emotion jealousy is - strong and almost uncontrollable. While I was trying to get to the heart of my feelings, I came across this fabulous article articulating a Buddhist view of jealousy.

My favorite quote, although not directly related to jealousy is, "Every human being relates to his or her own existence. Existence is God. In that relationship you're totally alone. In that you have no company. That is what it is to be a human -- relating alone and reflectively to your own existence"

And then we get to, "Jealousy is basically, fundamentally, a spiritual problem." Great. As if I wasn't feeling overwhelmed already. Now it's a spiritual problem.

I kind-of wish I didn't believe that, even though I would be lying to myself.

I think I am still unsure how I feel about the spiritual direction my life is taking.