The twyndyllyngs' uncopyrightable sweaterdresses facetiously scraunched against the teetertotter for tesseradecades minutes.
"The longest word in the English language containing only one vowel is strengths, while scraunched is the longest monosyllabic word in current usage. Twyndyllyngs is the longest word without any of the common vowel letters a, e, i, o, or u (although y is certainly a vowel in many words)....
"The longest words with no repeated letters are dermatoglyphics, misconjugatedly and uncopyrightable....
"The longest word typable with only the left hand (using conventional hand placement on a QWERTY keyboard) is tesseradecades or the more common but sometimes hyphenated sweaterdresses. Conversely, using the right hand alone, the longest word that can be typed is johnny-jump-up, or, excluding hyphens, hypolimnion. The longest word typable using only the top row of letters is not typewriter, as is commonly believed: teetertotter is longer, though sometimes hyphenated. The longest words typable by alternating left and right hands are antiskepticism and leucocytozoans respectively. 
"The longest words with the vowels in order are facetiously and abstemiously."
Seriously, someone get me a real job.