How I Roll, Part II

8:30PM Began driving home from San Antonio
8:50PM Had a lovely moment where all my worries melted away and I was just driving
8:54PM Wondered if this is what you feel like sometimes when you drive
8:55PM Liked you
8:56PM Thought about you
8:58PM Wanted to share this with you, but was then uncertain as to my motives and decided against it
9:00PM Wondered if all my "craziness" was simply the result of having a brain/mind. Decided a lot of it was. Was unhappy.
9:10PM Wondered if life could be different
9:44PM Made it home
10:55PM Fell asleep on the couch
5:00AM Woke up. Worried about not being able to fall back asleep, or falling back asleep, not waking up, and then being late for work
5:05AM Moved to bed
5:17AM Started to feel cozy and delicious under my covers, in the dark. Let my mind wander
5:30AM Remembered how beautiful you were the other night.
5:32AM Missed you
5:33AM Missed you, missed you, missed you
5:43AM Began the fabulous process of thinking too damn much. Topics included: the meaning of being human, submission and dominance, ways energy is exchanged, sex and my various feelings about sex, how much I am screwed up because of my family, codependence, how much everyone is screwed up because of their families, narcissism, how much I am screwed up because of my last relationship and how this pisses me off, what it means to "use" another person, and whether anyone has any chance whatsoever of actually and truthfully relating to one another
6:29AM Wished I wasn't terrified
6:30AM Smoked a cigarette
6:35AM Looked at the moon
6:37AM Wrote this
8:05AM Was only five minutes late for work, which is almost like being on time