I love the emergence of fabulous new Wendy-beasts!

Back from Burning Flipside where I spent time with some of the loveliest lovelies that ever lovelied. I want to extend a big thank you, sloppy kiss, and smack on the ass to all the people who walked with my in the rain, made me laugh, danced with me, talked with me, let me rub them, fed me, and were just generally 87 different kinds of fantastic. The mildly burnt skin on my shoulders is beginning to peel off, which of course makes me wonder what fabulous new Wendy-beast is about to emerge. There are clearly plenty of things I would love to slough off along with that skin and I am well on my way to doing so.

Of course this is only my second time at Flipside, and I haven't been to Burning Man, but it seems to me that Flipside gives you what you need, even when it is not what you think that you need [Insert Rolling Stones quote here]. I am slowly learning to live my life without the filter of my dreams and expectations getting in the way. That is one of the lessons the universe keeps throwing at my feet lately and I am trying not to kick it out of the way. Okay, I will go ahead and put in the damn quote already. I fought it for four sentences, but sometimes what a blog needs is a Rolling Stones lyric. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need." What I expected at Flipside last time was not what I got, but I did get what I needed. And the same goes for this year. I can only imagine how this dynamic plays out at Burning Man.

Now that I am back in my office, answering emails and drinking coffee, I am naturally thinking about my life, and the life of our society generally. And what I have come up with is a list of What (my) Life Needs, as Gleaned from Flipside. Enjoy.

1. More art
2. More art ON FIRE
3. More touching
4. More pretty lights
5. More accepting attitudes towards sexuality
6. Less judging
7. Less expectations
8. More talking to strangers whom you eventually come to adore
9. More wandering with no destination in mind
10. More having no idea what the hell time it is
11. More realizing that you are actually in a metaphor
12. Less being trapped in your mind
13. More building.
14. More realizing you are alive
15. More hope
16. More fun
17. More beauty
18. More acceptance of impermanence.

Oh and more nudity. We can't forget that.

Kisses to all the Flipizens. MWAH.

dreaming about the ocean.

I cannot stop laughing.

Video: "And I think we're dead."

I have had the exact same conversation, although thankfully not with a 911 operator.

Congressional Food Stamp Challenge

The Congressional Food Stamp Challenge: "From May 15-21, 2007, U.S. Members of Congress will live on a food stamp budget." That comes down to $21 a week for groceries.

Wendy's Google Searches - From A to W.

Here is the last month of my life as encapsulated by my google searches.

A
adult child alcoholic
affordable housing
al-anon detachment
america'a next top model
anagram
anthropophobia
april dorothy parker
aphrodite women's health
asia pussycat doll
astrology snake
austin atomic dance
austin gentrification
austin happy hour
austin tapestry dance

B
bad boyfriend
birch tree celtic
blog libel
body choir
boyfriend revenge
break up
brittney spears
bumblebeez 81
burning flipside

C
chicago lyrics sufjan
city austin police
city theatre austin
codependency
crazy ex girlfriend
create a ritual

D
date a narcissist
dating an asshole

E
ecstatic dance
enneagram
ex-boyfriend testimony

F
fairuza balk
flipside austin

G
get over break-up
getting caught in someone else's exploding life
go fug yourself
google libel

H
hallelujah lyrics
harry potter iq
housing affordability gap

I
i ching what you really have can't be taken away
infp relationship
internet radio copyright

J
jolie holland lyrics
joy moves austin

K
kiss on wet glass
kurt vonnegut "there is no why"

L
LARP
Love yourself with a WILD INTENSITY that shakes the earth; it makes the gods stop and listen to the poetry of your divinity
libel in blog
link generator
love not cold broken hallelujah

M
maslow's hierarchy of needs
meisner technique
mercury mccall
mortgage calculator

N
narcissism
narcissist victim
narcissistic personality disorder
national wellness
no such thing as alcoholism

O
o'henry pun austin
online dating
outkast lyrics hey ya
oy ve

P
porphyry
portland dance

R
reality quotes
realtors austin
relationships why

S
sand storm dance
scorpio
scorpion drowning
shooting austin
smart housing austin
soul coughing lyrics
soul motion austin
susan miller
sweat your prayers

T
texas lottery
trudy's austin

U
utah republicans satan immigrant

V
voldemort heir to slytherin
vonnegut quotes

W
wall stickers
what to do about hungry
what is the point of relationships
when the narcissist has to live alone
wholehearted

"
"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why"
"i will survive" lyrics
"if this isn't nice i don't know what is"
"The narcissist mimics real emotions artfully"
"tom waits" tarantella
"turn the words off and dance"

In summation: A couple breaks up. Kurt Vonnegut dies. The woman questions why people even have relationships. She does a lot of silly things like watch bad reality television, look at horoscopes, read song lyrics, and obsess about Harry Potter. Somehow she finishes a big project about affordable housing in Austin. Eventually she uncovers the extent of her ex's lies and manipulation, realizes he is a narcissistic asshole, and that she has issues from growing up in an alcoholic family. She briefly considers revenge, but finally decides to write bad things about him in her blog. Until she starts worrying about libel. She starts going to al-anon meetings. She starts dancing again, sometimes quite vigorously. Then she gets a ticket to Burning Flipside. ~The End (for now)~

Self

"Who am I, who
Speaks from the dust,
Who looks from the clay?

"Who hears
For the mute stone,
For fragile water feels
With finger and bone?

"Who for the forest breathes the evening,
Sees for the rose,
Who knows
What the bird sings?

"Who am I, who for the sun fears
The demon dark,
In order holds
Atom and chaos?

"Who out of nothingness has gazed
On the beloved face?"

-Kathleen Raine

There is beauty in the inhale and in the exhale
There is a lesson in both the rise and the fall
Help me not to close my eyes in the moment in between

It's all a blur after the first shot,

but there may have been topless wrestling.

Joseph Campbell dropping knowledge like what

"People say what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we are really seeking. I think that what we're really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive in our bodies."