Just a reminder

human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human.

composed of 50 million million cells (that's a trillion, yo). 50 million million. each with its own semi-permeable membrane and mitochondria and golgi apparatus (mmm, how I love organelles. their names are lullabies for my dreams). each busy generating energy and translating RNA. busy being me. who is human.

"The first beginning of a real work in life is the ability to stay with my confusion, to admit I don't know the answer, don't know where I am going from moment to moment, to study how I am in life, observing myself. It is absolutely necessary to have recognized that my life is confusion." - John Pentland

Things that are Curious - I

About 8 million blood cells die in the human body every second, and the same number are born each second.

That's the like the entire population of Austria (or New York City) dying and being reborn every second.

Damn.

How to understand this microcosm that is another person. With its own arching galaxies, and infinite nightfalls, and flashing suns busily turning hydrogen into helium. With its own inhalations and exhalations (that sometimes match mine.) How to taste the truth hidden inside, like a vial of honey that will never spoil. How to understand this pull from the center, this pull from me to you, that makes me want to smooth the hairs on your belly.

I want to get before myself, turn the lights on and off, on and off, on and off, and look at you.

Thanks Natalie

The Poem I Just Wrote

The poem I just wrote is not real.
And neither is the black horse
who is grazing on my belly.
And neither are the ghosts
of old lovers who smile at me
from the jukebox.

-Joy Harjo

habitual balanced disequilibrium

You had me at...

"This is what a pecan tree smells like."

Um, I may have met the perfect guy.

wow. it's a hot day. and he's a tall drink of water.

constrained to stolen sips
instead of holding your wetness on my tongue
i want to taste you

Text message that made me so happy I wanted to explode into a million pieces

"In miami. i'll bring you home a dolphin"

Does anyone want to buy me a lovely lovely pretty blue bed roll for 70 dollars? Pretty, pretty please?

Housewares sale at Urban Outfitters. Vases with birds on them for ten dollars. Forty dollars in my bank account. Can I justify spending money on vases? Unfortunately, I probably can. Well, not justify it so much as buy them anyway, because who needs to eat when you have pretty pretty things with birds on them? So what if there is war, oppression, poverty?

Birds win.

I spy with my little eye...

Oh fabulous universe. As my optimism is waning I discover...

At least for one night.

Wow, the universe actually listened. Thanks universe!

Since I prefer poetry over enlarging my penis

Found at the bottom of a spam message:

boisterous borough perfusion dryad judicatory transfer steinberg drive ain't acanthus circumferential bauble catch dreadful cliff director becloud album korea adequate marriageable shawnee power basic festive impressible voltaic politicking garrisonian equitable adiabatic religion sabine convoy erodible hocus monocotyledon helsinki kivu prove despoil artisan nestor granddaughter curse audiovisual demoniac haplology groan sidestepping become machination attendee tear

Is this some mysterious vocabulary spell that confuses spam filters?

Dear Universe, Please send me an uncomplicated lover. Thanks, Wendy.

still processing. still eventful. still full under the surface.

i need some sort-of refuge. like a garden that smells of honeysuckles, or an uncomplicated lover, or night after night of skinny-dipping. some time or place where it is lovely to be a human being, lovely that i don't know what i'm doing, lovely that i forget my own strength.

some place where i am not restless.

From A Softer World.

sad that the body forgets
i want to be reminded

Whoa.

Freakishly good band = The Bumblebeez 81. I'm sort of at a loss as to how to describe them. They're kind-of like The Gorillaz and Jon Spencer mated and gave birth to some mad, urban experimental prodigy. Part hip-hop, part distorted, noisy, almost lo-fi rock. Somewhere I heard the word "electrosexual" thrown around, and I think they might qualify for that term, although really I just wanted a chance to type "electrosexual." Fucking fabulous and infectious. That's right motherfucker, infectious. I ain't scared. They're infectious and electrosexual. Like a venereal disease for your tympanic membrane.

"I come with water to put out your fire."

I'm going to need someone to throw a party so I can play this CD. Loudly. While drinking. And dancing. And flirting. Boldly.

he's like a lion

watching tennis with my dad
i want to touch roger federer
inappropriately

know i what?

Some friends and I have been reading poetry on long car rides. Last night we read some of the poems backwards, which leads to curious phrases with their own charm, like "house colored coffee." And my favorite...

know i
know i what
know i
moonlight

Or maybe it's better as

know i
know i what
know i moonlight

It could even be

know
i know i
what know i
moonlight

I could do this for hours...

how to turn the volume up on quiet
amidst all this life
with the edges of my lips
still raw from kissing you

movement

Even apart I can still feel your movement
like I spent the night in the sea

burgeoning

The first three weeks of my 29th year have been more eventful than the entirety of my 28th year. If I could go a week without unexpectedly fooling around, unexpectedly healing relationships, or unexpectedly encountering something that makes me sad and/or angry, I might be able to write about it. Instead I feel full under the surface, like information is being processed somewhere, but isn't quite ready for words.

My attempt at writing the other day led to these thoughts, which never quite came together...

* So I will take these other words that don't quite fit * Without the dreams of how we should relate to one another * evaporate * to get before it * this state of not knowing who I am, what I want * Burgeoning *

Somewhere in there is the shadow of how I feel.

It's about to go down

Iran Threatens Israel if U.S. Attacks.

Could we just possible try to avoid WWIII? Is that asking too much?

processing